Monday, August 9, 2010

Naked guy loves to boat "unrestricted" on Sarasota Bay

If you're fishing or boating on Sarasota Bay, be on the lookout for a man in a white runabout with a Coke umbrella on the bow.
Chances are, he's naked.
I've seen the son of a gun twice in the past year. And, believe me, it's not a sight you relish.
I saw him last week near White Key along the west side of Sarasota Bay. I was poling along in front of the key in search of redfish when he motored onto the sand bar that runs about 100 yards off the key. He anchored the runabout, then hopped overboard.
"He doesn't have any clothes on," I said to myself.
He was buck nekkid. Naked as a jaybird.
Apparently, based on my two sightings, this guy loves to enjoy Florida "au natural."
I don't really care, but what if I had young girls out on a charter? Or young boys for that matter.
I contacted the Longboat Key Police Department and asked for the marine officer. I was told he had the day off. I was transferred to his voice mail. I left a message and reported the naked guy's boat number. I also left my name and number.
Never heard from the LBK cops.
The naked guy's probably still running all over the bay, feeling the breeze like no other.


  1. What if you DID have young kids with you? It's just the human body. As long as there was no sexual connotation to his preference for the 'threadbare' look and he was being reasonably discreet, I wouldn't have given it a second thought. Naturism and perversion aren't synonyms, whatever some people might tell you.

  2. Oh my. I'm not going to make a statement on the moral (would that be the right term) standing of this. I'd be more concerned about all of those toothy critters swimming about. Hope for his sake he keeps his worm out of the water.

  3. Taunted,

    I respectfully disagree. If the guys wasn't to go naked in his home or on a nude beach, sobeit. But not out in public where people who may not want to witness him may pass by.
    It's not legal anyway.

  4. Narc.

    So you think it is against the law. Where do you people get this from.
    Here's what the Florida courts have to say about that. The following is from Florida Statute 800.03:

    It shall be unlawful for any person to expose or exhibit his sexual organs in any public place or on the private premises of another, or so near thereto as to be seen from such private premises, in a vulgar or indecent manner, or so to expose or exhibit his person in such place, or to go or to be naked in such place. Provided, however, this section shall not be construed to prohibit the exposure of such or the person in any place provided or set apart for that purpose.
    The Florida Supreme Court and lower courts have repeatedly ruled that mere nudity (as in sunbathing and skinny-dipping) is not in violation of this law. Nudity is not lewd, lascivious, or indecent exposure. Clothing-optional recreation does not harm the public's health, safety, welfare, or morals. There are no harmful "secondary contrary effects" of skinny-dipping or the sight of a person in the natural state of being unclothed on a public beach. The public has nothing to fear from a live nude body. (Emphasis added.)

    What does this mean to you, dear noder? It means that as long as you are not boinking, jacking or jilling off where other people can see you -- either at a public beach or park or on your or someone else's property -- you are free to walk around without wearing clothes.

    Of course, when tightrope walking the bare legal high wire of public nudity, a little commonsense is in order.

    First, if you have the urge to be naked in public, do it at a recognized nude beach or resort. Obey their rules and enjoy yourself.

    Secondly, if you plan to go natural at home, keep the curtains to large picture windows closed. In your backyard, assure that you aren't obvious to your neighbors, no matter how free-thinking you may believe them to be. This doesn't mean you have to hide on your own property, but you should be visually secure enough that someone can't see you unless they are actually trying to snoop. Normal fencing or tall shrubbery should be all you need to transform your backyard in to a private nudist club.

    For example, my backyard is bordered by a tall fence on the north side. A jungle of overgrown shrubbery covers the west side. My house blocks out any view from the east. On the south side of the yard is a low fence over which I can chat with my neighbor. Any time I want to read a book, weed the garden or clean the pool in my birthday suit, I make sure it is during hours when my neighbors are away. If they are home, I situate myself so I am well hidden and stealthfully slip on some shorts if I feel like doing any puttering.

    So at least in the Sunshine State, if you want to work on your all-over tan and then go for a swim, feel free. After all, there is nothing to fear.